An Issue
by Riset36
Summary: Inspired by creative dimension itself and a little bit more by certain people. Here comes my first! Fic! Ever! As Finn can't get over the dramatic ending of his relationships with Flame Princess, Jake will try to help him. Will he succeed? Or will he mess things up, like one time more? Set between Love games and Dungeon Train through all the obstacles not seen in AT show.
1. Prologue: Love Problems

I saw my homie Finn approaching down from our shared bedroom to the kitchen reacting on the flavor of pancakes I was cooking. Yeah, only pancakes, because I was not in a mood to perform my Bacon Pancakes masterpiece. And the very reason of me not being in a mood was climbing down, yawning and scratching his head. Of course I wasn't able to prevent myself from teasing him a little:

" 'Sup bro? Are you ready to perform another awesome episode of 'I didn't really get over my last GF FP and now I'm depressed to the core' and hmm..."

I stopped for a while to catch a breath and think of what else I could add to this already long topic. Finn used the moment and answered:

"No way, Jake! Today, we're going back to our adventure biz. Bring out the stuff and I will spill it all out in front of people... Well, in front of BMO and Ice King I think."

* * *

Things were going in a good way and, hehe, I was foolishly hoping it's finally over but I forgot the first rule of break-ups: when you think it's all over, it's only the very beginning of your problems. It's not that I really complained of Slime Princess's attempt to win over the throne as I knew these 'love games' Finn allowed to drag him into would be quite a show. Maybe it could do even more than our daily records of Finn's, hehe, condition and make him to face the facts and stop acting like a heart-broken zombie.

Think Glob was punishing me for letting Magic Man to touch the angel coming below to the ground in a form of sandwich ( so I could eat it ). Thinks were just getting more and more complicated."Sigh"I think I need to pray to Glob someday to stop all this junk in my, well, mostly Finn's, life.

* * *

I was really astonished as I was looking at Finn, singing his depressive, yet somewhat beautiful serenade with his eyes covered and mouth shut between the lyrics.

"Guess he didn't get over FP after all..." I thought, taking another bite of a giant popcorn. Well, it wasn't giant, it was just me who was small instead, but you get the idea. "Maybe I really should find him another dame to go out with. Okay, I will think of it as soon as we get back home from this gross love adventure..."

* * *

"... Or maybe it's not a really good idea..."

I supposed, looking at Finn as he rolled over the bed at an incredible speed, trying to avoid any physical contact with Slime Princess and yelling: "Noooooooooooooo" at the same time. Okay, the guy will need a break in relationships for a while. Just, looking at my bro being depressed and saddened for such a long time made me feel sad too. I want to help him out, but I guess I would mess him up even more. Maybe I should leave the poor guy be, and he will soon forget about "that" girl... Hopefully get back to being good ol' Finn once again, crazed over fighting monsters and helping anyone on his way.

* * *

"... Or maybe not..."

Once again, Finn crashed my hopes, vomiting uncontrollably because of a simple attempt to smooch Slime Princess. Of course, he said he's sorry and got to punch Guillermo to make him quit of the trial... But man, seriously? He is 15, not 12, so if he isn't able to kiss a girl without shooting the cat, then his life will get more complicated. Like a LOT more complicated. It looks like if I didn't care, but I do care inside... In my guts, and my guts are nervous. And when my guts are nervous, I start joking all over and feeling hungry. "Ok, let's look what's going to be next, maybe it's not that hopeless... I'm thinking..."

* * *

"Yes! He got it right!"

I nearly yelped, having a lovely sight of my bro and Slime Princess enclosing their lips... well, lips or whatever it is for Slime Princess... When surprisingly, SP reeled back, saying that she couldn't do it and barfed violently all over the people below the mansard. Well, it's not that I could blame her: on such a close distance Finn's "I can't get over my ex-girlfriend" aura should be radiating like crazy! Punching the heck out of every girl trying to make out with him.

"**That's it! We've got an issue! Holy mother of bacon**!" I shouted and cursed, both things mentally, of course. " I'm helping my bro out and it doesn't matter how many people will get injured in process!"

* * *

**Hope you liked it as it's only the beginning! Review or just have a good read, I'm writing it not only you but for myself also so feel comfortable.**


	2. Distress

**Chapter 1: Distress**

As we left... Well, we actually ran away being chased down all the way to the stinky borders of the Slime Kingdom after it came obvious to everyone Finn and Slime Princess weren't married; anyway, as we left oasis of goo I was staring intently at Finn's face until he noticed it and turned to ask me:

"What is it, Jake?"

"Oh, it's nothin'. I was just looking at a liar that kept bluffing all the morning he resolved his 'girl problems'. You know, I've had plans to hang out with Lady on this disco club and now we're grounded not to visit Slime Kingdom for a year! A year is like lots of time to me and I'm to young to wait for..."

"I'm sorry, Jake!" said my bro, cutting one of my best-made angry monologues.

"It's just I really thought I was done with it, but when Slime Princess told me to lose myself deep inside and let it all out, it was like a voice in my head went off blowing all my confidence down. And now I'm all jacked up".

I couldn't hold a grudge on my bro. Besides, he already looked like he was beaten up for a while, which is obviously impossible as we ran from the angry crowd, like, really fast. You gotta see their faces, all screaming "A liar!" or "It was my best slime-shirt!"... Ahem, I got distracted. Well, what's the matter? Oh yeah, Finn's lady biz! And what could be better to get Finn distracted than finding him a new lady to go... You know, I don't like where it's going and I've already told myself he'd need a break in going out with girls. Well, what's the second thing? I got it!

"Hey, Jake! Do you forgive me or some thin'?"

Oh man! I was thinking of Finn too much so I forgot to think of answering him! That's what I call an irony, hehe.

"What is this smirk, bro? Are you mad at me so much you just quit talking with me?"

"No, no, Finn! It's just I got lost in thoughts, really deep in thoughts. Of course, I forgive you, we're homies! And homies gotta help each other, like, remember when you pretended to be my goblin servant just for me to get on with Lady's parents? And I gotta help you out. Look at it, it's a map to the coolest dungeon all around with monsters and loot, and, and..."

And how do you think he snapped me out? Did he just say "Mathematical!" or just simply "Awesome". No way. My jaw literally dropped open on the ground ( some dramatic stuff benefits of being an alstretchy dog ) as I heard his answer:

"Nah, bro. I don't feel like it"

"You... What?! Oh, you got me, that was fun! Now get closer and listen how to get inside, 'cause it's one of the tricky kind. So, here it is: you will need a pie, a banana and... "

"Jake, I'm serious. **I. Don't. Feel. It's. Like. An. Adventure. Time. Now.**" Okay, he didn't make gaps between his words, I suppose my brain just made them, not being able to decipher their meaning.

"Finn, you scare me. Stop messing up with my brain, buddy, that's not fun anymore! It's an emergency!" Shouting these words, I formed my body in an ambulance car, catching Finn with my paw and dragging him inside of my, well insides.

"Jake let me out! You smell like vanilla and I think I just gonna throw up!"

"Don't you dare to even think of it! That was enough barfs for today already!"

Obviously not listening to his complaints, I fastened my speed up, quickly approaching to our shared treehouse.

* * *

"Weeeu, weeeu, weeeeeeeeeu" I screamed pretending to sound like a real ambulance car.

However, it wasn't working or just maybe it was working too well as animals and birds screamed in pain, responding to my own screams. I've even seen a Forest Wizard covering his ears and shouting:

" Make him stop! Kill him or something, I don't care! Just make him flippin' stop!"

As the funny part of our journey ended, I finally got close to our good sweet home. Firstly I let Finn out, well, sort of. Being careful not to underestimate my brother, even if is a little dizzy, I stretched one of my paws over his body, making sure he wouldn't run anywhere and yelled from the entrance:

"Ice King, get lost! BMO, prepare our Heavy Emergencies Room. And give me some popcorn, I'm starving!"

"I won't get lost so easily! Remember, we have a pact" complained Ice King.

"But we don't have any Heavy Emergencies Room!" said BMO.

"And we're run out of popcorn!" they both ended simulationesly.

"Arghh! Okay, first things first. Ice King, it's very serious, so get lost! Please" I said pretending to be nice with him. After all, he isn't such a jerk... all the time.

" But I can help! What is it?"

" Oh yeah?! So tell me how to get over a girl you like-liked a long time? Oh yeah, you didn't have any so you don't know!"

" Why ya so rude with me? And, more importantly, I know the answer to your question" He replied, gaining a confident position of his body and looking like a crazy professor in a blue robe with a really bad haircut.

"Sure? I give you five sec to answer"

Finn tried to complain, but I shut him off, stretching a paw across his face, making sure he could still breath through his nose, of course. Well, I felt kinda curious what Ice King could offer and was already near to the line of total despair, so I guess I would even listen to the Lich if he offered help in that moment. Glob, how wrong I was.

"Wellatfirstyouneedtokidnapherandkeeponoverandover andoverbeforesherealisessheneedsyouondailybasisand ..."

Ice King suddenly stopped, obviously affected by his sudden outburst.

"Well, thanks a lot, Ice King, it would really help."

"Really?"

"No! Now get lost already!"

Mumbling and grumbling, Ice King finally got behind the curtains.

"Ok, BMO, now you. Could you prepare our treetop to contain a person for a long time, like day or two?"

"Sure thing, Jake. But what's happening? And is this doing anything with you roping your arm around Finn?"

"I would explain everything. Later."

* * *

As I, BMO and Finn, against his will of course, gathered on the treetop of our... well, treehouse and I explained everything to BMO, I let Finn go, at last. He frowned at me and said:

"Finally. Don't think I would eat vanilla ice-cream in the lifetime. Now, when you told BMO about my 'issue' as you name it, what are you going to do?"

"At first Finn, I want to say sorry, but I didn't see any other option. You wouldn't lock yourself up if I asked you, right?" I tried to apologize. Sure, nobody would like to be dragged all the way from the Slime Kingdom and imprisoned in your house.

"And now, we gotta just sit, coming up with ideas how to help you out."

"Oh, I know, I know! Can't Finn just lock his memories of Flame Princess inside his Vault?" BMO suddenly said. My plan seems to already work! Ain't I genius?

"Oh, I don't know, man. I'm keeping the Vault to contain really bad memories I can't get over with."

I facepalmed.

"Finn. Your break up with Flame Princess **is** a bad memory! And it's clear as the Nightosphere you **can't** get over it! So why don't you try it, just for us?"

Finn still didn't look convinced but nodded.

"Ok, I will try." He stood there for a moment, deeply concentrated.

"I think I got iiiiiiiiaaaaaaaa!" He cried out in pain, taking out his sword, which I totally forgot about! Swinging it back and forth, he ran there yelling, totally crazed out.

I think I'm not a genius after all.

* * *

**Whoa! Did Finn just go nuts? And if he did, then what would Jake do to fix it? Find out in my next chapter of An Issue!**


	3. Searching for help

** Chapter 2: Searching for help**

He has finished, at last. Oh man, don't want to see it any time soon. At first he stood there for a while, having a blank expression on his face. Then it happened: his facial expression changed from doubt to anxiety, then he was like totes freaked out, screaming and clearly pained by something. But the most horrifying part took place after: his face displayed happiness, rage, sorrow and absolute horror all at once and he was running, screaming, laughing and weeping simultaneously for flippin' 15 minutes!

At least I think it was 15 minutes as I quickly retreated backwards, shutting door behind and taking... for sake of all divine sandwiches , I forgot about BMO! What if this poor guy got wrecked down while I was sitting here on my terrified buns? Ok, I'm coming in.

What appeared to my eyes was Finn, laying on the floor with his eyes wide open and his face lacking of any emotion. Oh, and there was BMO also, but he was looking straight at me. Angrily.

I cleared my throat and came with something like:

"How's it goin', buddy?"

"You abandoned me, Jake! Leaving me behind with Finn swinging his sword and trying to stab everything on his way... That was so funny! Still wonder what's with Finn though."

Well, it was weird and relieving equally. Trying to ignore the thoughts of what could be funny in staying on the roof with crazed sword-armed Finn, with nowhere to run and nobody to call for help... Meh, I'll just drop it. Not very successfully trying to avoid any disturbing thoughts, I leaned over to my bro-ham, looking straight at his eyes and saying:

"Finn, our family veto is putting FP into the Vault or whatever, just snap out of it! Please."

His gaze suddenly started to focus.

"What about Tier 15?"

"**You stay away from that! Do! Not! Do Tier... **Well, I don't think you hitting Tier 15 is the most terrifying thing now. Let it be our family veto number 2, 'cause we've been talking about it a bazillion times: if you don't figure it out ( without doing it! ) by the time you're 18, I will tell ya myself." Seriously, you gotta understand me, telling your little brother about bees and flowers is one of the most irritating things I can imagine. "Anyway, what's happened to you? You scared the heck out of me!"

"He was so scared he ran away screaming like a little girl. he-he." Suddenly, a voice appeared from nowhere. Already having chills down my spine I turned over, seeing a pank-styled 19 years old looking girl with an umbrella on her hand and bass-axe on her back and... Ok, I think you've got it right by this time.

"Marceline!" (obviously) yelled I, Finn and BMO.

"Sure I'm. 'Sup, guys?" And, without any pause her face started shifting into fiendish one, trying to freak me out like she usually does...

_But no way it's gonna happen to me again. I stuck out my chest and walked to hear, happily seeing the surprised look of her now normal face and..._

"Man, come on, I'm not that bad-looking! Come to yourself and stand up like a man you pretend to be!"

Oh-oh. Why am I on the ground, screaming and rolling over? Wait, was my 'stuck out chest' and stuff just a make-up of my own imagination? Oh, dang it! Totally embarrassed, which seems quite normal when Marceline is nearby, I stood up. She chuckled and went on her mainline:

"Yeah, guys, I was just on my ordinary-spying-on-Finn-and-Jake-show, but it's happened ( yeah, happened!) to me that I've overheard about your, how do you call, Jake? Issue? Weird. Anyway, I've heard of your 'issue', so..." Yeah, she got to help us out! That would be so nice of her, in spite of scaring me again, because I was starting to run out of ideas and sure thing somebody living more than 1000 years could know a few hints about relationships.

"... I'll just go back home and stay away from your home for a while. Hope you'll find a solution. Well, good luck and bye!" What?!

"Wait, Marceline! Help us out, it's serious! Grod, I've even listened to Ice King's advice and you know I wouldn't do it in a normal situation!"

She seemed quite surprised, asking:

"You, all-knowing J. K. ask me to help you?" My face blushed bright orange (as I'm yellow normally, you know), but I managed to come up with "Yes." Then BMO hugged Marceline's leg, begging:

"Please, Marceline, help us!"

Surely surprised by now, she looked at Finn expectedly. He looked somewhat irritated and tired but finally said:

"Yeah, Marceline, I think we need you or whatever."

Vampire Queen grinned:

"Ok, if I leave you weenies, I suppose you will blow Finn's brain off." Her smile started to evade abruptly. "It's not that I could help you much, though. You know, I know only how to break ups, not fixing it all over. Besides, it was always me who finished my relationships, and our situation is quite opposite. All I could say to you Finn is time heals everything, so you just need to live for another 40 years and you sure forget about it!"

Finn replied, astonished:

"By the time 40 years passes I would be like a very, very old man! I'm not immortal, I just can't wait for the thing to happen!"

I started thinking hard, trying to find a solution. Oh, there it is! But Finn wouldn't like it.

"Ok, Marceline, I've got another plan. It's not like a plan though, but I can't come up with anything right at the moment. All you need to do is to hang out for a while with Finn, looking after him not running away. And I'll just get outside for ... A little walk."

Marceline thought for a while, then nodded.

"Sounds good to me. I'll go downstairs to see Simon, then."

"Aren't you afraid I will run away?"

"You could give it a try, you know, it'd be funny to chase you down." Marceline turned to Finn, shifting her face into devilish and back for a moment. Well, Finn seemed to be impressed, as he gulped nervously and nodded.

Going downstairs, I've overheard an interesting conversation:

"So, Finn, what exactly happened to you."

"Well, Marceline, I wish I knew. For a moment I thought I got it all contained into the Vault, but then it was like a radical explosion inside of my head with all emotions I've ever felt of her and our break up."

"Oh, you seem like a complicated person to me now, weenie."

"Oh, let's just drop it."

* * *

My idea wasn't a great one if you look at it with a clear eye, but I was desperate. Really desperate. The main part of it contained... oh man, asking everybody in Ooo who knows anything about relationship how to resolve our issue. Issue, hehe. Anyway, it didn't work either. Tree Trunks suggested cooking an awesome apple pie, which is cool but it wouldn't help us in that very situation. Nor it would hurt, I guess, so I'll give a pie to Finn when I return. Princess Bubblegum was really busy, saying something about me returning back later, as she works on the project to finish. She didn't sound sure it'd be useful but added that least she wouldn't just waste her time for nothing even if Cinnamon Bun blew it. I don't get it, really, as I've heard he is now with Flame Princess... or King... or Queen, oaah, whatever. What made my day was Peppermint Butler, offering to chant the love curse on Finn in exchange of my fleeesh. Yeah, he said fleeesh, like that. Anyway, I don't like the word 'curse' and sure I need my flesh, so I politely refused.a

Ok, you get the idea by now: no one in Ooo knows much about going out biz! This left me only one option and that moment I was really freaked out.

I need to go to the Fire Kingdom.

* * *

**I wanted to say something about the whole story, so here it is:**

**1. I'm not shipping Marceline and Finn. Just no. And maybe because it's not canon, too.**

**2. You'll see Joshua in the next chapter. ( yeah, Finn and Jake's dad ) Yep, he's dead but sure he'll appear. Don't wan. To spoil**

**3. Next chapter's name is Intermission 1: Memory of crimson as it will go from both Jake's POV and 3rd POV observing Finn. Have fun guessing)**


	4. Intermission 1: Memory of crimson

** Intermission 1: Memory of crimson**

"Oh man, why don't you just go ask anybody else?" I asked myself. "She will get mad at you or ignore you or even know about _this_! Do you wanna be a Jacricsp?"

"Relax, dude, she won't know anything! Not like I would tell her, anyway. And we asked everybody who knows the stuff about lady biz, even ladies themselves!" I answered, forming a mini-Jake out of my hand.

"You could ask Lady and your puppies." suggested another Jake, appearing from another hand. "Sure they will help you!"

What the flip was that? I didn't create this one. It wouldn't hurt to talk with him, though. This is like a weird psychoanalysis therapy and I like psychoanalysis stuff.

"We can't ask Lady, cause we always told her we are the boss in the lady biz. Grod, asking Marceline to help was already embarrassing and I will die if I ask Lady or, even worse my puppies, about it! Now, shut off or we will meet people and they will think I am a weirdo." I said, reforming back my left hand and trying to reform my right one.

"You can't get away from me. I am your hidden guilt and random wisdom, muaa-ha-ha-ha! So, considering this point, you are a weirdo." said my right hand, refusing to shift back into normal, non-speaking hand." Just listen! What if FP knows you got Finn the idea of writing those letters? You're like fifty fifty guilty, hehe. Of course he wrote them and delivered them, but what if you said something like:_"Calm down, bro, and think it over again", _huh? Then nothing would have happened at all! And now you are going into the citadel of this gal that is freaked over the truth! Oh, dude that was a long speech. Ok, I am going back, into your subconscious, hope you're freaked out."

Oh, he's gone, finally. Sure, I'm freaked out, but I am not turning back. This is for my homie.

* * *

Finn was sitting on the roof, staring at the sunset, seemingly upset and deep in thought. Clouds were forming on the sky, trying to cover the sun, but the last ray of light hit Finn into his eyes before sun hid below the skyline. Finn sighed heavily; of course, he was still depressed of his break up with FP and slightly embarrassed of Jake's attempts to help him, yet there was something else inside of him. It was almost like a long forgotten memory of him, looking at the sunset long before, before this teenage stuff and even before his adventures. Suddenly, he heard a strangely familiar voice saying:

"Ok, Finn, I need you to put these memories into the Vault, so you could take them out when you really need them...".

"Dad?" Finn managed to think, before falling deep into his memories.

* * *

"... Cause we don't want you to think of it all of your life, right?" Joshua said, looking at the sun, hiding itself below the horizon.

"What is it, Dad? Is it a secret? Or, or, is it a cool dungeon map you need me to memorize so I could go fighting monsters and getting loot when I'm tall enough to fight?" little Finn said, running around Joshua, throwing words excitedly in a great speed.

"No, Finn, well, actually it is, but this is not a main part of it. Just promise you will put it into that castle of yours inside of your head, like I taught you before."

"Ok, I promise." Finn stopped, looking seriously now.

"Good boy." complimented Joshua, patting Finn's head. "Now, I need to talk about something very important. Listen, when you grow up, you will start getting interested in girls and I wanna say..."

"No way I will make friends with these 'girls'! They stink!" Finn shouted, interrupting Joshua.

"Do they, huh? Then, what about mom? Or should I remind you of a particular candy princess you're into?"

"Mom isn't a girl! She is mom." blushed Finn, intentionally ignoring the second part of his dad's remark.

Joshua chuckled softly, again patting Finn.

"Indeed. Well, believe me or not, when we grow up we usually forget our wise thoughts, go all silly and start asking girls out and... Well, anyway. The only thing I want to tell you: when you break up with a girl, you'll need to get to the dungeon I've prepared specially for this occasion. Here's the map, have a look." said Joshua, handing a strange-looking piece of paper to Finn. "Oh, and the last thing: **do not do Tier 15!**"

* * *

Finn woke up, snapping out of his memories. But now, there was somebody else, standing right behind him and looking at the clouded sky.

"Ice King." Finn murmured, slowly standing up. "What are you doing here?"

"Just standing and looking at the sky, ya know." said Simon, still staring upwards. "It seems to be a rainy night, you need to get back inside." he finished, going away.

"Wait!" Finn shouted. Ice King stopped, startled."You know, you've had a lady. Her name was Betty, right? So, mmm, how did you get over her?"

Ice King answered, amused:

"Did I have a girl? Was she she a princess? Tell me, you must tell me about her!"

Finn frowned. Of course, he didn't wait for anything, but still he was upset.

"Guess I wouldn't take anything out of him with 1000 years passed and the Crown on his head, huh?" Finn thought, walking towards the door. But the Crown wasn't on him right now, it was on Simon's belt, well, if you can call 'on the belt' simply putting it caught on your .

"Wait, Finn!" said Ice King "You know, the thing is it seems I didn't get over her; I went nuts! You see, nuts, hehe! But you and Jake are my best friends, not counting that cool gal downwards that keeps calling me Simon. I don't want you to go nuts, so, you say, if you could pick up my crown, fly to the Fire Kingdom and blow it up like that hot-headed girl did with mine before, would it make you happier?"

Finn was astonished by the thought of him hurting the one he like-liked before even more. Yet, Ice King offered him his Crown: the one thing he calls precious aside from princesses, so Finn could say he felt something else: gratefulness.

"Thanks, Ice King, but no. I do really appreciate your offer, but I won't hurt her anymore." Finn said, opening the door. He looked back. Simon was still standing there, it seemed he's forgotten about going inside, strangely occupied by the night sky. Finn shrugged, passing through the doorway and shutting door behind him. "Weird."

* * *

"Ok, Flambo, I hope this shield would not wear off soon, cause it feels like I'd really need it!" I said, handing a charcoal to the little flambit. Right next to Flambo stood his brother, looking at me pleadingly.

"What about me? I've given ya a good advice, ya know it?" Sure, this is Flambo's brother.

"I still don't think Finn'd like to go to that strange cave, because of, like I told you, his 'issue'. Still, thanks, we'll get to check it out when Finn is better." I thanked him, putting out my last piece of charcoal. "Hey, guys, why do you stand there, out of the Flame Kingdom, right before the rain starts?" I asked, suddenly interested in it. I know, I should be grateful, cause if they weren't here I'd need a lot of ice to heal my buns after this trip, still, it was suspicious to me.

"You, know Jake..." said Flambo, changing his looks with his brother's. "We get there once in a week to lie."

"To lie? Like, lie on the grass?"

"No, more like to trick each other, that kind of thing. We love new Flame Queen and stuff, but saying only truth to everybody is embarrassing! And dangerous, sometimes. So, like I said, we get there to lie to each other and let off steam, ya know?"

"And we've already exceeded our 'truth limit' by this point, so you'd better to move on and not ruin our day. Don't worry about us, we won't get wet, we'll hide somewhere or something. Now, be gone." added his brother, pushing me away.

"Ok, bye guys!" I said, proceeding on my trip to the Fire Kingdom. Before starting to climb over the mountain I looked up to the sky and back to flambits, laughing and telling each other weird junk, like:"You're vanilla!" or "Did you know candies are made of fire?". Hope they will be all right.

* * *

Going downwards, Finn started to hear... music? Who could play music in his house? Huh, whatever. Suddenly, Finn felt dizziness all over his body, not wanting to go anywhere or do anything, so he just sat on the floor, listening to music. It was a strange melody, soft, yet disturbing, like the instrument it was played on wasn't meant to sound like this. And then there was a voice, singing:

_I know it's rather irritating_

_To hear of wonders of the world_

_When darkness crawls to overcome you_

_Still try to listen to my song._

_There used to be a fire glowing,_

_There used to be a candlelight,_

_Yet you have managed to destroy it;_

_No more light shining trough the night!_

_But why don't let your friends to help you?_

_To share the light with your lost soul?_

_I know it's rather irritating_

_But try to listen to my song!_

When the music died off, Finn heard a voice, saying:

"Hope, you'll be fine, weenie."

That was it. Many emotions were overflowing him, causing the teardrops to fall down from his eyes.

"Thanks, Marceline." whispered Finn, sobbing.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" she said, floating upwards. "Oh, it's you Finn. Did you hear anything, cause, you know, I was just practicing and... wait, are you crying?"

"What are you 'sniff' talking about? Ok, I am crying, don't tell anybody!" Finn said, still sobbing. "Besides, these were the tears of gratefulness. You know, this song... it was beautiful."

"Do you think so?" the Vampire Queen replied, smiling. "Well, then how about playing a BMO for a while?"

"That would be just algebraic!" Finn said, standing up.

* * *

"Flame Queen, I shall announce the arrival of Jake, Baron of the Grasslands!" declared herald, as I was advancing through the hall. Well, I wasn't there since my last attempt to help Finn get over Princess Bubblegum. And now I am here, nearly for the same reason. What an irony.

The hall didn't seem to have changed; only its inhabitants did. Now, it was half-empty, with only few Flame Guards, a couple of ministers ( well, I thought they were, because of rich clothes on them) and that guy who shouted out I was coming. Flame King and FP were there too, though they seemed to be playing a game, having switched places with Flame King sitting on the lantern above and FP sitting on the throne and staring at me, deep in thought. Then, she said:

"Oh, he is not baron; he's just another outside liar." What?! After that, her voice softened a little. "Hello, Jake. Why are you here at such a late hour? And where is Finn?"

I started to think what to say when she interrupted my process.

"Wait, before you lie anything to me, you should think about the consequences." And with that, a red sparkle appeared in her eyes. A dangerous sparkle.

I gulped and managed to say only:

"This is about Finn. He's got a problem." More like an issue, hehe. Shut it, Jake, get concentrated, you are walking on the minefield right now! Looking back at FP, I saw she was stressed by my words. All of a sudden, she stood up, saying:

"Everyone, get out of here. And don't forget to pick this one with you." She added, pointing at her father.

When everyone was gone, she stood up from the throne and walked towards me, stopping only a few steps before me.

"What's with him? Is he wounded? Is there anything I could do to him?" She said, obviously worried. Oh well, somebody is still into my Finn, it's a good thing for me. I suppose.

"Don't worry, Flame, ummm, Queen. He's alright, well, physically. But he's depressed and junk and I wanted to ask you: how do you get over Finn? We could really use it on him." I said, telling the truth, but still managing to slip over my true intents.

She stepped back a little, surprised by my question. Then, she appeared to be thinking, and after a while, finally replied:

"Well, as I am standing in the center of my kingdom and it would be a blasphemy for me, its ruler, to lie there, consider all my following words an absolute truth in its last instance."

Ooookeeey.

"It's not like I really try to do something with it: with all of ambassadors and citizens asking out for help, sometimes with problems dating weeks, months and even years, I simply don't have time for sad thoughts. Guess my father was as awful in ruling a kingdom as in raising me. Anyway, now, when I think of it, I feel sad and depressed, and wanting to drop it all and run away back to him." She said, confusion written all over her face. Then she added, almost soundlessly "Guess I've not got over him, too."

Oh yeah, this is my chance! Now, everything I need to do is...

"But I'm not going on dating with him again." Oh, man.

"But, FP, Finn is..." I tried to come up with something, when she interrupted me, almost shouting:

**"I know! I feel the same!"** with that, I was freaked out to the condition of wanting to shrink down and hide somewhere. I know, I had a Fire Shield but I nearly forgot about it at that moment and, by the way, I didn't feel like checking if it could help me with angered fire elemental, that, in addition, was one of the strongest in millennium. Jeez, why can't Finn like less complicated girls? Anyway, Flame Queen managed to calm down a bit, as she went on saying quieter:

"I can't just drop my kingdom. All these people need a ruler, and if not me, who will rule it all? Dad? Don't mock me! Besides, I am still mad at Finn." Well, that sounded fair and noble, but so not in time! Yet FP seemed not to be finished, as she continued:

"You know what I will do instead? I will write him a letter. Yes, I will say it all out and, maybe, this would help us both." With that, she ran over the hall excitedly, finding a solid piece of wall and dragging it to the center of the throne room. "Heavy. Ok, this wouldn't be a new law or something, so I will just cut it a little." She kept mumbling, creating a sword out of her hand and slicing through the obsidian rock until there was a little block that reminded me of a paper sheet somehow, laying on her hands. Then she placed her fingers right on the plate's surface and strange runes started to appear on it. Standing like this for a while, she kept whispering under her nose, but all I managed to hear, was in the beginning:

"The only good thing in being a queen is that I've learned to chant runes a little, so..." and after that she was only moving her lips, not really speaking.

Soon, she finished and handed me a rock plate with strange-looking runes on it.

"This is it. Only Finn would understand, so don't try to read it." Well, I was offended, but didn't say anything, because ... ok, I couldn't lie.

"Thank you, Flame Princess." I said, before turning back and starting to walk to the exit. "And, princess?"

"What, Jake?"

"You know..." I started and went on saying things out really fast. Thanks for the trick, Ice King. "ItwasntonlyaFinnwhosuggestedofwritingyouthatlette ritwasmeaswellandihandedhimanideasoithinkiamasguil tyasFinnis. Whoooaahh, and I'm so sorry." I stopped, trying to catch a breath and not faint. Flame Princess appeared to be confused, saying:

"Well, I didn't really get an idea what it was, but I forgive you." Oh, Glob, thanks she didn't understand me! Good deeds are awarded indeed, hehe. And I really felt like not being able to hold it inside. Guess, truth is helpful, sometimes.

"Ok, anyway, bye Princess, I will get back to Finn now."

She didn't reply, still standing confused. After a while, her expression changed to an understanding one, back to confused, and then angered. Utterly angered. No way truth helped me in that situation.

**"YOU WHAT?!"** She shouted, starting to shift into her giant-flame-killer mode.

Of course, by that time I had been already running to the exit and out of this castle. Like back in ol' good times, heh.

* * *

**Sorry for the late update, but people: it's two times bigger! Yeah, I know, it's still a small, but I am learning. Here are some other things I wanted to say about the story:**

**1. Yeah, Joshua was in the Finn's memory, so it's not like he's appeared. But he will, I swear you! Well, sort of.**

**2. If you found it, Ooobserver, then yes: it's an allusion on your story name. Sorry)**

**3. Next chapter will be called Science solves everything! Yeah, you get it)**

**4. People, I know I told you not to review if you don't feel like it. Still, with you not reviewing me ( except for Ooobserver, Lily and SCIK 2012, thank you, really) I start to have an issue). So, could you review it if you don't feel like it but still don't mind it, please? I just need to know how I am doing, people, that's all.**

**Thanks for reading, anyway, and wait for my next chapter. And yes, the song is a work of my imagination, so sorry if it sucks) I need to drop placing smiles everywhere.**


	5. Science solves everything!

**Chapter 4: Science solves everything!**

Finn can't get over a lady. Check. It is night right now. Check. It had been recently raining. Check. Oh, and the most important, Flame Princess chases me down from the Fire Kingdom. Double check! And this is full house déjà vu! I hit the bank!

Sadly, it also means I am having a very dangerous experience of running away from a very, I mean very, angry 15 years old girl, that, in addition, can conjure fire and fly and stuff. Oh man, I will never tell anybody truth in my lifetime. Ok, I will tell truth to Lady... And Finn, he's my homie, after all. Oh, and Princess Bubblegum, cause she says that everybody likes me and I just can't lie to a person like her. And Marceline, cause it's dangerous not to tell her truth, 'gulp'. Wait, have I just gulped inside of my own head? I am asking because it's impossible, so...

Owowowow! That hurt! Maybe, just maybe, I was a little dragged away with my thoughts to the advantage of that hot-headed gal I have mentioned before. But throwing fireballs is just unfair, cause we're playing in catch-and-get, not in catch-and-get-or-try-to-make-roastbeef-of-your-opp onent.

I stretched my face backwards, while still running, of course, and yelled to FP:

"Maybe you could drop throwing fireballs at me! It's not I don't like this game, it's just my flame shield has already worn down. We can play in your funny game of trying to burn me to a crisp the next time, I promise."

What? I tried to light up the atmosphere, cause it feels more like she is really going to roast me.

She did seem to appreciate my attempt, as she responded:

"Oh, come on, Jake! Just slow down a little, it is not like I am going to kill you."

"Remember: you can't lie to anybody anywhere. That's your law!"

"I am not lying! You will still be alive, when I finish with you!"

Well, that one was scary. Fortunately, it helped me to win me some time as I was seeing my sweet home on the horizon. Sure, FP wouldn't try to kill me right in front of Finn. I hope.

Now seeing the treehouse, Flame Princess, seemed to slow down a little. Yeah, my guess is right, and that means I will be alive! I love being alive, you know.

Wait! What is she doing? Why is she... Accelerating?! Oh my Glob, I need to run faster!

* * *

I think I have just did a miracle, by reaching my home, dashing from the fireballs ( I guess I really pissed her off ) and running like a crazy yellow bullet, trying to run away from its own powder trail. It seems Finn and all the others have seen our little marathon, as I caught the sight of Ice King, trying to fly away and crying:" Please, not again!" and Finn, running outside with Marceline, well, flowing outside. Stopping by the side of Finn, I did the only thing that could save me at that moment:

"Finn, I really messed up! Again! You've gotta calm her down or she'll just kill me and you know how much I love being alive!"

Marceline smirked in response:

"What, have you been trying to be her relationship expert, too?"

And Finn, well, he didn't seem to hear me as he stared over my shoulder in awe. Man, I could swear I have heard him whispering:

"She's like a comet. So beautiful..."

I rolled my eyes, yelling:

"And you must stop this beautiful comet from landing on me! Seriously, man, I don't like Jakepocalypses! They suck!"

Oh no, too late. Two seconds before the crush, so planet Jake needs to dash away from this fiery murderous asteroid. Which it certainly did. The thing I didn't take in account was that I was in my horse mode, standing right in front of Finn, and FP, flying at the low height, trying to save up energy, didn't see Finn right before the moment I jumped away, screaming. Ok, these are many things, which I didn't take in account.

I could swear time slowed down for me, as I saw FP frustrated, trying to slow down, and Finn, staring at her in disbelief and foolish smile written all over his face. Doesn't he understand she is flying right into him now? Oh, wait, he seemed to realize this, as his his expression slowly changed into confused and he tried to dodge her.

After that, it all seemed like pictures being showed to me: two of them them getting closer and closer and finally... No! Not kissing! You can't kiss at the speed of 100 mph, even if you give it a try, and as these two were trying to evade the contact, they weren't giving a try. The thing that happened was FP, bumping right into Finn's stomach with a good head-slam. Oh. **It think that hurt.**

* * *

"Finn! Are you alright?" I shouted, coming nearer and seeing a ... smile on his face?! What's funny in being hit by your ex-girlfriend? Oh, I wish I'd never asked as he replied to me:

"Best... Tier 4... ever."

Flame Princess, already sitting by his side, blushed heavily, asking:

"Are you alright, Finn?"

He didn't respond. Has he just fainted? Well, that's not surprising, after your private space being violated in such a fierce way, but FP appeared to be worried, trying to touch him to check him out. Luckily, she remembered why she shouldn't do so, as she backed out, starting to walk away. Before doing so, however, she turned back and said, not referring to anybody particularly:

"Could you take care of him? I need to go back. And Finn... I am so sorry" With those words, the drifted away.

Good thing is she didn't seem to remember about me, and bad thing, well, I think it's pretty obvious. We need to get Finn to a hospital.

"Oh man, that was so much drama!" said somebody behind me. I yelped, turning over and seeing...

"Ice King! I thought you have run away, crying like a baby!"

"Of course I did! I am not an enemy to myself! But then, when I realized she's not after me, I decided to get back and look at the show. I should admire, it was a good one, maybe a little cheesy, though. Next time, you'd need to..."

"There will be no next time unless we get him to the hospital really fast!" I shouted.

The Vampire Queen came up in that phrase:

"Leave it to me. I will get a weenie to the Bonnie's little playground, that she keeps on calling her kingdom. And you gotta walk with Ice King all the way and think over your mistakes." Saying so, she lifted half-burnt Finn, flowing to the direction of the Candy Kingdom.

"Well, that was pretty tense and stuff, but does this mean they are back together?" Ice King asked, appearing by my side.

"Well duh, I really don't get it, but it's most certainly no. She is still mad at him for writing, you know, those letters and junk..."

* * *

"... Like remember when you and Finn found my collection of ninja stuff and we had a good Frostjutsu fight?"

"Yeah, hehehe. That was a good time, indeed." It really surprised me: you can actually have a normal chat with Ice King. Well, he is weird sometimes, but who can say he isn't? Anyway, as I said, we had a nice talk with him while walking to the Candy Kingdom, discussing Finn's issue and gradually passing on talking about our previous adventures ( well, it was me and Finn who had an adventure and Ice King usually got his butt kicked over, but whatevs ). Talking about stuff, I didn't even realize when we were near to the Candy Hospital, and at that point Ice King said:

"Ok, I should probably get over, cause, you know, I have recently tried to catch Princess Bubblegum again and I don't think Gumball Guards appreciated it. So, I guess, bye, Jake?"

"Yeah, bye. You know, we really had a good time, with you not trying to capture a princess and me not kicking your butt, we should try it out another time."

Okay, now I need to see Finn.

* * *

"Finn!" I shouted, running into the chamber. "Are you alright? Listen, when I told you that Tier 4 is 'accidentally' bumping into your lady and spooning over the ground, I didn't mean this!"

Well, he seemed pretty alright to me, as he managed to lift upwards and blush, saying:

"Yeah, I get it, Jake."

Marceline smirked at my remark, appearing to be walking towards the window:

" I leave my heavy burden or taking care of you to Bonniebel and Dr. Princess. I've got some shady business to do and well, I am pretty tired of these tense moments. Need to kill a couple of demons or something to restore my inner balance of coolness. So, bye, guys?"

On these words, before either me or Finn could answer, the door opened and PB came in,yawning.

"I have heard you have some nasty burns, Finn. Hope you alright and, by the way, how did... Oh mein Glob!" she said, having a good look on Finn, wrapped all over with bandages. "Did you do Tier 4 with Flame Princess again?"

What?! That was pretty awkward. And if it was to me, then Finn had to be dying out of embarrassment right at that moment.

"On the second thought, I will stay for a while. It's going to be fun!" Marceline said, going back next to Finn's bed. "Hello, Bonnie. No, it wasn't Tier 4, well, not on purpose. It happened because of one certain 'hero' of the day." She added, pointing at me.

"It wasn't my fault! Not totally, at least. It was just, emmm, misunderstanding between me and FP." I tried to defend, but no one seemed to believe me anyway.

Princess Bubblegum said:

"Anything, Jake. What's more important is that Dr. Princess also took the sample of your emotions, completing my request on research and it was awful! P-waves amplitude is enormous and with fluctuation of periodical G-waves they seem to start resonating!"

By the tone of her voice it was like a big bomb tilting inside of Finn's, which is pretty dangerous. Still, I wish I have understood what the flip she was talking about. Princess Bubblegum appeared to understand our total confusion and explained, frowning:

"It is strange Finn didn't go nuts because of all emotions overflowing him." Oh that's it.

"In fact, Finn did go nuts one time." No, Marceline, you are not helping.

PB was pretty shocked by the statement, then replied, having serious expression on her face:

"I need to hear everything. From the very beginning of it." That was how I told her everything I knew before the moment, with Finn adding about his strange dream of our Dad, weird chat with Ice King and utterly confusing yet pleasing Marceline's song.

Princess Bubblegum listened to us carefully at first, but then started yawning by the moment we finished our story:

"Sorry, guys. It is just it's 2 am outside and I was in my bed after 72-hours science marathon. But I know a solution to your issue, Finn. I can help you."

"Really?" Finn said, hopefully looking at PB.

"Yes. But we need to get you to my castle and I don't know if you could..." By that moment, Finn was already walking towards the door. "What? How did you?.."

"It may look painful but it really isn't. Besides, I had been, ummm, dating with FP for almost two years, it's like burns are not stinging that much anymore. Are we going?"

* * *

I thought we were heading to the Science lab, but my guess wasn't right that time. Instead we stopped by one of the many doors of the Candy Castle as Peppermint Butler, that was guiding us, was searching for the key.

"Oh, there it is!" He finally exclaimed, unlocking the door. "Have fun, Finn! Hope you don't go nuts."

It isn't comforting. Better to ask PB.

"What does he mean by it?"

"It's just that, we didn't check it out on anybody. It may cause some uncontrollable psychological diseases or worse." She... giggled? Weird. Still, I might do weirder things when not sleeping for 3 days in a row, so I let it drop off. "Now, behold! This is my new Emotiolizer 17! And you really don't want to know the meaning of 17 in its name." She said, finally opening the door.

Well, I can say I wasn't quite amazed. It was just a big hall with a chair and helmet laying on it in the center. Don't judge me, I know PB is smart and stuff, but I don't believe it would help to punch the stuff out of Finn. Meanwhile, Bubblegum went on explaining:

"As I was always indecisive in whether to take on my royal affairs, go to the lab or just sleep for a while, I finally came up with solution: why don't ask my subconscious? At first, I wasn't successful as I lacked of subjects to perform with; Flame Princess appeared to be the perfect one, willing to come over her confusion after her break up with Finn. " My bro was saddened by this one, but PB didn't notice, going on her science frenzy. "But after she left with this dummy Cinnamon Bun by her side, I never had any material, khe-khe, I mean, volunteers. Anyway, that prototype was only for the fire elementals, reading spectrum of their emotions through the temperature of flames and this one is universal with putting holographic images..." As she went on saying scientific stuff, I was suddenly reminded of the thought that haunted me for a while since I left the FP's castle.

"Strange as it is, but I didn't see him as I visited Flame Princess. Don't you have an idea what could happen to him?"

Princess Bubblegum thought for a while, then nodded grimly:

"I know exactly the math she did with him. Read it on my lips: **she let him sleep! **Because aside from all of you, she does care about her friends, now if you don't mind me, just make Finn to sit on it and look what happens and I will just lie down and try to take a nap." Surprisingly, she did exactly the thing, not even bothering to go towards her bedroom.

Finn didn't seem to notice her condition, which was really weird, as he always was all noble and heroic along with PB, even when he was dating with FP. Man, this abbreviations start to be annoying. Returning to Finn, he was looking thoughtful at the weird-looking chair in front of him, then shrugged:

"Guess we don't have any other options, heh?" And with those words he sat on the chair, putting the helmet on his head with bright glow blinding me and the Vampire Queen, which seemed pretty bored by the moment. By this moment.

* * *

I couldn't believe my eyes when I opened them once again. All over the throne were standing... Finns! And they weren't just standing: some of them were singing, others dancing like crazy and simply having a chat with each other. And there was one Finn, sitting on the throne, right in the far end of the hall. Suddenly, I heard Bubblegum's voice, who appeared to give useful advices even when sleeping:

"Each of Finns represents one side of our Finn's characteristic or mood: happiness or saddness, love to play BMO or killing monsters. However, if subject is stable, which he obviously isn't, his proto-Finns will be converted into one responsible for a block of moods and characteristics, similar to each other. The most solid one must be sitting on the throne right now, giving the other orders and observing, aaawwww, Apple pies." She finally finished, lost back into her dreams.

At the moment, 'main Finn' stood up, announcing:

"Silence!" All the others were shut off immediately, completely obeying the main one. Obviously affected by the full obedience, he smiled proudly, then went on:

"By thus I shall begin the trial against my most vicious enemies: Manipulator Finn, PB lover Finn and ... Adventurer Finn!"

"Objection, my lord!" said one of the Finns, standing by the side of the hall. "He is Adventurer and Heroic Finn!"

"Objection denied, Smart Finn!" said the 'main one'. "By treatiously suggesting to forget about my beloved one and instead going adventuring and helping out people, thus shall no longer be called Heroic Finn anymore!"

Well, I think I get who is this guy: he is...

"Flame Princess Lover Finn!" suddenly said a deep and manly voice of somebody behind me. I turned over to catch a glimpse of somebody going right through me. Heh, almost forgot all of these hunchos are not real. Turning over again, I saw a tall, muscular man with right metallic hand on the place of real one and really, like really, huge sword on his belt. "You should finally understand that it is impossible to..."

"Nonsense!" suddenly screamed the one, sitting on the throne. Is it ok I wouldn't say FP Lover Finn every time? Cause it's embarrasing and, well, it is long, too. "We have done Tier 4 today, she will be mine again and you have got nothing to deal with it!"

"Snap out of it!" Said Adventurer Finn. Well, if I don't refer to FP Lover Finn on his full name, shouldn't I just name him, eh, Cool Guy? Oh Glob, it seems I have an issue about names! Dang it. "She just slammed onto you, not even intentionally! You should thank Jake for she even appeared before your eyes!" Is it just me, or are these Finns kinda too pathetic?

"Enough! For crimes against my love and unspoken blasphemy right in front of the trial, I am putting you into the Vault!" That's what I speak about: pathetic. Wait, what? He can't do this! If there is no Adventurer Finn, who will make the real one to punch monsters' butts and collect loot? I've got to stop him? But how, if it's happening inside of his head? Grod, this is so complicated!

"I am sick of you." Suddenly said Adventurer Finn, going to the black void, which appeared a second ago. It was sudden not because he said it. I could get it. What was unexpected, Cool Guy said it, looking straight at the real one and our Finn appeared to react by tossing away the helmet and screaming:

"Make it stop!"

All Finns, before disappearing, looked straight at Finn, all astonished and surprised. And the real one, well he looked even more messed up, if it's even possible. His legs were shaking and sweet was falling from his face, but he managed to stand up and say calmly:

"I know what I need to do: I need an adventure. **Now**." Yeah, that's Finn I know! "And, Jake."

"What is it, buddy?"

"I need to go alone."

* * *

**That was the hard one for me, because of extra amounts of drama and lesser amounts of humor, but, still, it's finished. Another few things I wanted to say:**

**1. It is going to the end now! Two more chapters and that's it. Sorry for those, who liked it and wanted more ( if there are people like that ), but it wasn't considered a big one at the first place.**

**2. The next chapter will be Intermission 2: Son and Father!**

**Oh yeah)**


	6. Intermission 2: Son and Father

Intermission 2: Son and Father

_The Present is determined by the Future and creates the Past._

_Lev Gumilev, Russian historian and philosopher. (1912-1992)._

Finn was running from the Candy Kingdom towards the Bad Lands, this time using the Royal Tart Path, now empty, instead of just running over the wasteland as he did one time, thinking it is much better to save tarts from being eaten. How wrong he was...

Still, the end of that story was a good one. Well, sort of. Finn couldn't say anything about the following one, though. His brain was a mess, with all the voices screaming and growling in his head, giving him a slight resemblance of what is happening to the Ice King.

"I should never, never prank on Simon again." Finn thought. Or was it one of the voices who said so? And doesn't it mean that, technically, this is still Finn who thought it?

Oh, this must have been Smart Finn again, with his annoying attempts to analyze the 'main Finn's' psychological condition. Finn didn't even understand where he came from, confessing he is not the brightest person in Ooo. Yet again, the answer came from Smart Finn himself, providing him the needed memories of him putting on the Glasses of Nerdicon to impress Princess Bubblegum. After that, there was a long period of forgetfulness, not being able to glide across the secrets of the Multiverse, with what knowledge left being used on useless dungeon crawls or foolish tries to impress two certain princesses...

"Okay, I get it now, buddy! I should admit that we could do more mind contests, but still, we actually had a good time!" Finn suddenly said aloud, stopping. "Like remember when you have drawn arrows inside of my mind to allow me to lift that huge monster up with my sword and throw it away? I didn't really know it was you but I do appreciate your knowledge of stuff or whatever. You know what, let's have a deal. I will try to really understand when Peebles explains me anything instead of falling asleep on the mid-sentence. And you will stop messing up in my brain!"

Suddenly, Finn felt a strange wave of satisfaction, going across of his mind, and one of the voices shut off. The others went on protesting, demanding or just singing silly songs, but even without one being remorseful it was already relieving. More importantly, he now could remember what his dad said to him ten years ago:

"Ok, at first you should head towards the Bad Lands..." Finn did remember this part before, but everything else was blurry until Smart Finn stopped taunting him. Now Finn could remember the second part:

"You will be surprised, but under the Royal Congressional Hall, there used to be a dungeon where all the most dangerous villains of the time were held. When I found it, it was a little uncomfy and empty, but I renewed it, added some monsters and left a little prize just for you..."

* * *

I can't believe it! He just distracted me by shouting:"Look out! A huge ice-cream monster on the left!", then took away my backpack and ran away! And I thought we are not doing such things since the last time Finn tried to explore the dungeon on his own.

By the time I finally got near to the window to look for him, there was no sign of Finn, and sure I didn't know where he was heading to. Grod, he shouldn't be able to head anywhere in his condition at the first place!

"Relax, dude, our weenie will be alright." Said the voice from behind.

I turned over and saw the scariest thing I have ever known... again.

"Marceline!" I shouted, covering my eyes. "This is not the time!"

"Why not?" she shrugged, returning back to normal. "Anyway, if you don't see it, Finn is a hero. Heroes gotta go on crazy dungeon solo crawls sometimes, as I believe."

"Yeah, he is a hero, but he is also my little brother! I can't just leave him, beating up the jam of morons on his own, Dad would never forgive me if something happens to him."

"And I believe it's your father who got him idea of a solo dungeon. Haven't you listened when Finn told us about a-get-over-a-girl dungeon he remembered of? I think, he is going right there now."

"Well, you may be right." I admitted. "But it would be lots easier if I just went with him. Ergh, but I don't know where it is. Guess I will just get back home and wait him there."

* * *

"No, Dancer Finn, I am not embarrassed of you, I just feel a bit uneasy when I remember Jake made me to dance in front of FP's family nearly nude. But I still feel like dancing sometimes, there wasn't just a good moment for it. And BMO Player Finn, you shouldn't be that worried at all, I have been playing BMO nearly as much as adventuring and sleeping, sometimes even more than sleeping, but don't tell Jake." Finn was still dealing with his alter egos, making them shut up one way or another, until he could finally hear the third part of his Dad's guide:

"_Find the skull carved on the wall on the back side of the castle, then hit it with your demon blood sword_."

"_But Dad, only you have such a sword. Will you give it to me_?"

"_Calm down. This is another story and I don't want to spoil it, but I assume you will have had this sword by that time_."

"You were right, as always, Dad. By the way, thanks for the sword." Said Finn, slashing the finally found skull. He gasped in awe then, seeing the whole ark of stone going underneath and opening a classic dungeon entrance.

* * *

I was just sitting on the sofa, staring at the roof and thinking over everything that has happened today. BMO was already in his sleeping mode, but I just couldn't take a nap, even for a while.

"Why are you sad, Jake?" Came the voice from my viola.

"Huh? Oh, Shelby, I am not sad. I am just, thoughtful. With Finn going really nuts and I can't do anything, even punch the flip out of monsters in this stupid dungeon my father designed for him. And you know what? I am jealous. It's like the second dungeon my Dad made just for him. Where are my dungeons with loot and easy monsters to help me to come over my psychological problems? Not like I had any, but you can never really know that, can you?" Huh, that was a relief. "Thanks, Shelby. I really needed to tell it all out, feeling much better now."

Shelby didn't say anything at first, then, after a few minutes, came up with:

"I don't know, Jake. When it comes to your father, I can't be sure. Just maybe, he could have known Finn would need a guide and you'd not have any problems. Anyway, what are these sparkles outside? They seem familiar."

I turned my head to the window in confusion and, indeed, saw purple sparkles flowing amidst the air.

"Oh, Dad, this is not funny. My life starts to look like one big déjà vu." Then, it hit me in my head. "Do you need me to follow you, so I could find Finn?"

Sparkles seemed to grow brighter in response, like they wanted to answer:"Of course, dummy, just be ready to catch up with!"

My good mood seems to come back! I stretched myself out of sofa, using my limbs grown out of stomach to take a bottle lying near me and grab the frame, breaking the window in process. Well, we'll think of it after.

"Thanks again, Shelby. Guess I am going after Finn right now."

* * *

"Hyaa!" A loud shout went off over the dungeon as Finn slashed another skeleton. Before turning to dust, it complained:

"Not fair, dude! I don't have a cool sword."

"Sorry, skinny guy, but I need to pass through quick. By the way, Righteous Finn and Manipulator Finn, you need to start get on with each other, cause I won't throw any of you out of my brains. Yeah, I know he is a jerk, but this jerk is me! Part of me, I mean..." He went on bargaining, reasoning, anything to make peace with himself while beating up everything on his look at the same time.

* * *

Duh, these sparkles were fast. I was running like crazy, careful not to drop the bottle with precious liquid in it: Cyclops Tears. Finn used to take them on his dates with... you know; but one time he accidentally dropped the bottle on her. Well, he didn't take a look on them anymore.

Sparkles seemed to slow down, as we continued running. A good sign, I hope. Maybe it means we are close to our destination.

Or maybe it doesn't. What the math is this? Why do they led me to the Royal Congressional Hall? Is my dad trying to mock me, cause I do have some bad memories with this place. I nearly asked it out, when sparkles glowed brighter, formed an arrow in the air and pointed at a strange hole in the wall, then reformed into:"Over there, dummy." phrase and disappeared. Yeah, just like my Dad.

* * *

As Finn went towards the end of the long, seemingly endless corridor, he finally saw a door, shut closed. Usually, it meant the end of the dungeon and boss just behind the door. By this time, only two Finns continued their fight with each other: Adventurer and Heroic Finn and FP Lover Finn. Trying to ignore them, Finn started to get prepared to the main fight:

"Ok, let's check it out: demon blood sword? Got. An awesome hat? Got. Health Potions? Nah, forgot I don't take Cyclops Tears with me anymore. Ok, let's rock!" He exclaimed, slamming the door with his right leg kick. Wielding the sword in front of him, Finn got nearer and nearer to the center of the room, but there was nobody here to meet him.

"Is it empty? Is that your surprise, Dad? Well, it sucks."

"Not at all, Finn. My surprise is awesome!" Came the voice from behind.

Finn turned over just to gasp in astonishment:

"Dad?"

* * *

Well, I really wanted to find Finn, but there was so much loot just lying on the floor I couldn't get by. Finn will wait, I guess, not like I heard any yells like:"Help me!" or "Somebody, please, just flippin' help me!", so he's not in danger at least. Hope he has fun, kicking the monsters' butts, and I will certainly have fun by picking up the loot after him.

* * *

"Indeed, Sonny. Dad is right over here!"

"But how?"

"Well, there is a device, with the help of which I am able to see the future, so I used it to, mmmm, observe you."

"Were you spying on us?" Finn asked, confused.

"That's not the point!" Joshua answered, protectively. "The real point is that I am here to help you. Using my device, I am just prerecording message on this holographic projector, so it is not like I am really talking with you. So, here is my message: from what I have seen, you will need to get to that weird cave Flambo's brother told Jake about. There will be the thing that will finally make peace with your adventurous counterpart."

"What about my other part, you know, that, with an issue?"

"Oh my boy, sure you can find some interesting dames!" Joshua said, making Finn blush heavily. "To resolve this one, you just need to look into your backpack. Don't you feel it heavier?"

"To check out my backpack?" Finn repeated thoughtfully." Wait, if it is that easy, then why didn't you you just say it when I was five?"

"Hey, it's more interesting that way! Besides, I wanted to talk with you one last time. Ok, the record is going to end soon, so I will just ask you to say 'Hi' to Jake. Now, I guess it's time to say bye?"

"Wait, Dad. What else have you seen of my future? Will I have a new cyber arm? Will I become as awesome as Billy? Will I... will I go out with FP again?"

"Guess you gotta find it yourself." Said the image of Joshua, evading. "Bye Finn."

"Bye, Dad." Said Finn in a hoarse voice. "Well, he did say something about the bag."

* * *

Just... a little... more... looooot. Aah, we could gather it all after I retrieve my backpack. Need to go to Finn now. Or, maybe, I could collect more of these shiny before. Just, you know, they couldn't run away. Oh, who am I trying to trick?

* * *

"_The only good thing in being a queen is that I've learned to chant runes a little, so_

_I could actually write you a letter. This is not a real writing: they record what I wanted to_

_say and reform in the words in language you will understand, but that's not the point,_

_right? . Man,I am starting to really think over what my father did in the last few years, if_

_he did anything at all. All of these are shouting at each other and even trying to_

_assassinate the others while I am taking a congression! And they go on naming me_

_'Flame King', because I have usurped my dad. Quite a mess, as you see it. Still, I am_

_getting on progress, but it's so exhausting! So, as you are my friend, (we are friends,_

_aren't we? ) could you help me out? No, I am not asking you to do anything with my _

_work, __though it could be funny to burn all these stupid rocks to a crisp or slash them _

_away, but __I am a King, so it means no funny stuff. Instead, could you come here and _

_hang out for a while; we could __name it as Grand Royal Meeting with the Hero of Ooo or _

_Goblin King or whatever. Would __be great if you found spare time. Oh, and after you read _

_this one, it will turn into ashes,__so __nobody could read it out, like in those old spy films we _

_used to watch together. See __you __soon! Your Flame King ( still pretty awkward ). _"

* * *

When I ran into the room, ready to help my little bro-ham with any gruesome monster the Universe could create, all I found was Finn, sitting on the floor and staring thoughtfully at the ceiling.

"Finn, thanks Glob I found you! Are you alright? And where is the boss or whatever?"

Finn turned his head to me and smiled:

"Hey, Jake! Dad says 'Hi!' It seems he is the boss of this dungeon."

I rubbed my forehead, confused:

"Wait, did you have to kill our Dad's spirit in the end or something?"

"Nah, it isn't like that. He had a chat, sort of, and he helped me to resolve my issue. Though he could do it way easier."

"You know our Dad, there is no easy for him!" I laughed, happy with the good news: my homie doesn't have his issue anymore!

"Yeah! So, why don't we check that weird cave Flambo's brother told you about?"

And he is back on his adventure spirit; even better!

"Sure thing, Finn. But you could use a little sleep before, and here." I put the bottle of Cyclops Tears out of my body pocket. "If you are done with all of your issues, how about starting to use this again?"

He looked at me strangely, but then, to my relief, nodded.

* * *

I was looking at the plafond, once again thinking of all the events, that have happened today. Man, this was a long day. Then I looked at Finn, lying on me in my sofa form.

Everything for you, homie.

* * *

**Did I promise you Joshua will appear? The flip he did! Yeah, again it was pre-recorded message, put people: I can't resurrect dead! Here are some other things, as always:**

**1. Next chapter is Epilogue: What does the flippin' soup mean?**

**2. Bad memories of Jake involved with this castle are from Phlogiston Theory by Jen Kollic as I assume it doesn't matter whether it's AU or not. And if you don't get what I said, just check it out. So good!**

**3. And guys, thank you for being with me all this time! I am so grateful you can't say for sure I wouldn't explode if anyone pierces me with a needle.**

**Riset out.**


	7. Epilogue

**Epilogue: what does the flippin' soup mean?**

Joshua was slowly walking towards his treehouse after a long, long day, full of fixing up the dungeon and letting all the monsters in it. And it took nearly the fifth part of his treasures to fill them up with loot.

"Hope Jake will like this part." He mumbled to himself, chucking."Gotta tell Finn about dungeon when I am back home."

In fact, there are a few hours he still could afford on adventuring. He thought for a while, then brightened up, saying:

"What about another round, Eternal Massacre, huh?"

* * *

When we got outside the dungeon, it was already afternoon. Sadly, as we were going on another adventure, we couldn't take all the stuff dropped from those guys, so we just gathered it all before the entrance. Need to return and pick this all to our Treasure Room, but maybe later. Right now I am coming with my buddy, ready to punch the evil butts and bring justice into every dungeon we could find on our way, beginning with that cave Flambo's brother told us about.

Speaking about Finn, I get to admit: it was one of our nastiest adventures, with Finn staying on the verge of sanity, but I fixed him up, because it was me who went to FP and got a letter, so, technically, all tributes go to me. And nobody even got injured in process! Expect for Finn, with FP head-slamming him. And maybe FP, all messed up because of hurting Finn. Well, we could actually add PB, because we didn't let her sleep...

Ok, ok, there were some injuries, but, well duh, no war is won without casualties.

* * *

Finn was walking by the side of his step–brother, problem-reason-and-solver, the only one Jake the Dog. Everything was fine; FP Lover Finn left somewhat startled, but hopeful, considering to retrain for FP Friend Finn for time. Still, Adventurous Finn was unsatisfied, but he didn't say anything, didn't shout or argue; he was **silent**. And that was almost scary.

However, Dad said he'd find something finally fixing him up in that weird cave, so he was left quite hopeful, yet with some strange thoughts occurring to his mind.

* * *

"Oh math, I didn't receive that much of punches for years." Groaned Joshua, almost dragging himself out of the devilish train, holding on his demon blood sword to restrain his balance. And the worst part is he lost his Future Crystal, that was picked up by the very strange gal who had beaten the juice out of him. "Maybe Margaret is right and I am getting too old old for this." He said, then slapping himself on his face. "Of course you are old! Only an old moronic dog will talk to himself!" There was one comforting view, though, right before the Crystal slipped away from his fingers: something of his children beating up this gal and picking up the Crystal.

Finally getting back home, he was met by Finn, shooting questions on him:

"'Sup, Dad? Were you on adventure? Did you bring anything cool? Would you tell me a story?"

"Indeed, Sonny, I've got one story. Not like a story, more of an advice, but you need to put it into your Vault, cause we don't want you to think of it all of your life, right?"

* * *

And here we are: walking towards whatever Glob brings to as, ready to slain it or help it, considering its alignment, or so I thought. Suddenly Finn exclaimed:

"What... is the meaning of 'soup'?"

Oh man, not **again**.

* * *

**That is it. The Fin. Makes me sad, but also feels great, cause it is the first fic I have ever written and man, I finished it! Already have an idea of what to write next, but I don't tell ya right now. **

**A cliffhanger. Mua-ha-ha. **

**Sorry, guys, just having fun)**

**Here is the tip: she is made of fire, and I left her quite messed up in this story, so somebody gotta help her out. Not Jake. Anybody else, expect Jake.**

**Oh, and yes. Eternal Massacre is Dungeon Train, I just like it like that.**

**And finaaaally comes the very thing you were waiting for, like a very long time.**

**I. Do not. Own. AT show!**

**Out. XD**


End file.
